You think you have bad luck because you got coffee all over your work pants while driving to work this morning? That’s nothing. A 21-year-old man named Jordan (he didn’t reveal his last name for obvious reasons) has the worst luck in the world.
Five months ago, he was using a portable toilet while at work when he felt a sting coming from his penis. He looked down and noticed a spider was crawling around the toilet. He was rushed to the hospital to be treated.
After the incident, he did his best to avoid using portable toilets. But the other day, he noticed the one on his work site had just been cleaned, so he figured it was safe to use.
“I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time. I was like ‘I can’t believe it’s happened again.’ I looked down and I’ve seen a few little legs come from around the rim.”
The first time it happened, his co-workers were concerned for his health. This time? They laughed at him, “This time they were making jokes before I was getting in the car.”
Of course they were. That’s how you know they’re true friends. Or actually, a true friend would have offered to suck out the venom, because we all know that totally works in real life.
Jordan was treated at the hospital and released the same day. He’ll be returning to work soon, but he won’t be returning to the toilet.